Kagura, Kurama and the Monkey
by VioletWindStorm
Summary: As she ponders the meaning of life, Kagura plushie is kidnapped by a stuffed monkey who has an identity crisis and thinks he's Naraku!  Can Sesshoumaru plushie find any type of motivation to save her?


Disclaimer: Kagura, Sessh, Rin and Naraku belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Kurama belongs to Togashi. I made the plushies.

Sequel to "Kagura's Big Adventure."

Plushie world is a generally happy place. Kagura, Sesshoumaru, and Rin occupy the bed. Kurama lives on the top of the dresser, and others live in random places around my room (or wherever else my dog feels like dragging them.) Little did I realize, when the tail fell off of my sister's stuffed monkey and I took it in to sew it back on, a few problems would arise... Basically, our giant, 2-and-a-half-foot plush friend had a bit of an identity crisis when exposed to my room full of "Inuyasha" stuff. Seeing Naraku's monkey suit in a picture on my calendar, he decided that that was who he was. (See... the monkey is the one that needs help... not me who hears these things talk.)

Anyway, Rin's hair had fallen off one day for the millionth time (elves did it, I swear), and I was sewing it back on when I notcied Kagura-Plushie hurrying over to me with what would have been a concerned look on her face had it not been sewn on. I probably should have asked her what was wrong, but for the sake of my sanity I decided not to be the one to begin a conversation with a piece of fabric and pillow-stuffing.

"Um... I have a problem," she said, taking a seat next to me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, only too used to her random stupid problems. Hopefully this would be as ausing as the time she thought she had commited mass murder in my sock drawer...

"I think someone wants to kill me." Her voice was a dead whisper as she stared up into my eyes.

"I can just sew you back together, you know. Is it the dog?"

She shook her head. "No... the monkey."

"The monkey?" I could not help but wonder if at this point we were naming random Chinese Zodiac signs.

"Yes. He wants to kill me I think."

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know. He says scary things."

"Like?"

"'You are my incarnation. I created you. I have your heart in my hand and could crush it to death at any second.'"

Great... This was why I had never created a plush Naraku. "Don't be ridiculous. I created you, and you don't have a heart."

She stared up at me and trembled a little. "So, you're Naraku?"

Smooth move right there... I spent a minute contemplating whether I should explain everything to her or whether I should chant to myself 'She's just a plushie; she can't talk' until the voices went away. Oh well, I figured, if I'm gonna do this whole crazy-talking-doll thing, I might as well go all the way. "No, I'm not Naraku. You're not the real Kagura. You're just a plushie I made to look like Kagura because I'm a crazy Sesshoumaru/Kagura fangirl. That monkey isn't even from 'InuYasha,' and Naraku's not actually a monkey. He just likes to dress as one."

She was silent for a moment. "But... where's my heart?"

"You don't have one. You're not alive."

"Then why am I moving and talking and things like that?"

"Because I need therapy..."

"Then I'm not real either?" said Rin, into whose head I had accidently stabbed the needle.

"No... if you were real that would have hurt."

Satisfied with my explanation of life, Kagura enjoyed the next few hours musing about philosophy, but, sadly, given her lack of intelligence, she didn't get far. So, Kagura-chan did the obvious; she decided to go ask Sesshoumaru.

"Sesshoumaru!" she called to the plush doll who was now staning at the edge of my bed, surveying the land and trying to think of cryptic things to say. "Sesshoumaru!"

"What do you want of this Sesshoumaru?" he demanded, not even looking towards her.

"I was wondering about stuff, and you're smart. Sesshoumaru, what is it to be alive and real?"

"This Sesshoumaru once has heard the meaning of life is simply '42.' If you're satisfied, go away."

"Okay." She left deciding that '42' was simply far too advanced of a concept for her to comprehend.

Slding down from the bed, she decided to take a leisurely stroll over to the couch, but froze the instant she heard "Kukuku."

"Um..." she said, turning around and looking up to see "Naraku" the toy monkey towering over her. "Hello."

"Kukuku... Kagura..."

"Yes, that's me, but not really. I'm a plushie."

"And you are mine! Now go! Bring me the head of Sesshoumaru!"

"No thank you," she said, backing away slowly. He might not have had her heart, but one of his hands was about half the size of her body. "I'll just be leaving now..."

"KUKUKU!" the monkey screamed, charging forward and picking her up King Kong style. "You'll never escape!"

"Sesshoumaru!" she screamed as the monkey climbed up my bookcase. "Sesshoumaru help!"

"Foolish wind demon, your beloved Sesshoumaru can not save you!" Stretching his hand out, he let her dangle from the top of the bookcase, screaming her plush head off.

But then, just as all seemed hopelessly lost (a tad too dramatic, no?), Naraku screamed as some weird green thing seemed to whip him in the face.

"Sesshoumaru!" cried Kagura, remembering his whip of light in the anime.

"No," said a calm, cool voice. "It is not Sesshoumaru."

"Inuyasha!" exclaimed Naraku. "In your human form! With red hair!"

"Once again... no." The cool voice did not waver despite the great annoyance for constantly being mistaken for Inuyasha. (Well... there was only one other Yu Yu Hakusho Plushie in the whole room...)

"K-Kurama?" Kagura's eyes grew wide. "Kurama has saved me!"

"No he hasn't," said Naraku as he nonchalantly opened his hand and let her tumble down to the floor. "There. Chapter 374 came a little early, Kagura!" Then he was silent as he listened for her body to crash onto the floor.

But the crash never came.

Even Kurama was dumbstruck. "Kagura-plushie can... fly?"

Indeed she could as she took out a feather, hovered over to the bed, walked over to Sesshoumaru and slapped him across the face for not coming to save her.

After that, I just decided to sew the monkey's tail back on and give him back to my sister.

The End


End file.
